nakakalunod boses ni ely buendia

weddings and death.

pre-wedding day, the whole ceremony can be a pretty painful experience. you know what im talking about, with all the planning and drama and other stuff. on the wedding day, however, if the couple really married out of true love, then it can be one of the most emotional and sentimental events that you can be a part of.

then, comes the day, when one of the couple has to die, and there in the funeral is what's left of a couple that was once joined at the souls, who vowed that it was only death that would part them. the day has come.

the image of a widow or a widower grieving isn't a good one. but there's something beautiful about being in that much pain because a part of you has died because your partner died. amazing how a simple human being could affect another through sharing the simplest of things with you over the years - a smile.. a look.. tears.. thoughts... dreams. fear...words.. a bed.. laughter.. moments..

never mind that countless of times, he or she has pissed you off, bitched at you, made you cry, even left you for a period of time. all of that was part of a journey that you swore you'd take together - "til death do us part"

those were the things that you promised each other, not at the altar, not during the engagement party, but maybe during an ordinary day when you suddenly looked at the person beside you and at the same time, both of you thought that this is the person that i could, i would, and i will spend the rest of my life with. this is the vow that was made, and it would be sealed with a lot more kissing and hugging and tears that you'd care to show in your wedding day.

mushy stuff? yeah.. something about driving home at 12.30am after watching the wedding crashers, in a cold, slightly foggy night, wearing the same clothes that ive worn when i played tennis for 3 hours during the afternoon, and listening to ely buendia's voice as he sings with a smile.. something about that made me think about this, among others things.. in some irrational way, i actually felt that everything can be solved through a smile..

so i did lift my head, smiled a little.. and it eased my fears a little..

~

i can't sleep. i should be knocked out by now. i went to work, had the diagnostic exam and finals for chem, played tennis for 3.5 hours, and went to the movies, but im still awake. ive had days when all i did was go to work and by the time i got home, i just crashed on my bed.

for some reason, my bed doesn't look very comforting tonight. it's bleeding out red. the color of passion. the blood that passes through my heart. the heat of summer. rage. action. pain. love. hate.

.. this is probably just the sugar from my ice cream that i ate during the movie that's talking... goodnight.